sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
