What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
