Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I need to calm my uterus...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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