There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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