all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i drank out of a bidet.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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