I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
