You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
