I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize