Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
we're so committed to being not committed
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
