it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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