I like to think it a success when the cops are called
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize