I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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