My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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