I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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