Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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