So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
soo... how was my night?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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