I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
