This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
