***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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