We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
