im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize