So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
