Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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