i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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