and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
