we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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