Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
