Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
even my farts smell like vagina
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
