im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
