How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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