I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
