I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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