paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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