i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize