have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
