Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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