I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
