People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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