Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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