Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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