turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
