Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
