Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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