where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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