we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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