how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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