i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
