you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
