so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
