And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
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