i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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