Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
