Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
