He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
