Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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