The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
