eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
