thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
