I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
