Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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