i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
