I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My bed smells like the plague
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