Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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