I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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